Oh, knitting fates, do you really have to mess with me?

I finished knitting, sewing, and weaving in the ends for my first pair of french Press Felted Slippers in 2 afternoons. My first pair of any footwear. My first felted item.

I learned something: FELTING SUCKS.

I mean, I'm sure it's great if you know what you're doing and the yarn is cooperating and the washing machine is producing the correct temperature of water. I'm sure it's fantastic if you know what you're doing. I do not know what I'm doing. I'm doing what I've read in forty million places and what the designer and my mom and a hundred other knitters said.

Thery're too big, they're not felted enough or in the right spots, and hand felting makes me want to eat my arm.

Tomorrow I am going to set the washing machine to a high water temp, put the slippers in (while also in a zippered pillow case) and let them do as they please. I'm going to shower and eat breakfast and just let them do as they wish.

(Although, honestly, if they don't do what I want them to, I might throw a world-class hissy fit. Yeah, real mature.)